Tuesday, March 6, 2012

What Does Friendship Mean To You?

Welcome to The Butterfly Memoirs Blog!

For those of you who have followed my author blog, This Writer’s Life-mjkane, you know what I’ve gone through over the past two years to write my first book, A Heart Not Easily Broken. It’s been a very interesting journey. I have now reached the point where the book is complete and I am searching for a publisher.

***UPDATE!!! Since this blog was posted, I have since ford a publisher! Look for it September 20th as an eBook, October 4th as a paperback!****

In the meantime, I have set up this blog to focus on the series, the characters, and the subject matter addressed in the series. I would love to hear your feedback. So, let’s begin!

What is the meaning of the word, friend? According to Dictionary.com, a friend is: a person attached to another by affection or regard.

During the course of our lives, we have friends on many different levels. There are acquaintances, people we are friendly with at work or socially. There are also people we do not view as being hostile - yet is considered a friend or friendly. People who donate to charity are considered friends of that organization.

What about the act of being a friend, or to be more exact, friendship?

The definition of friendship is: 1.) The state of being a friend, association as friends, 2.) friendly relation or intimacy, 3.) friendly feeling or disposition. (Dictionary.com)

As children, there were people we hung out with, got in trouble with, and made lasting memories with. Many of them may have navigated their way in and out of our lives over time. Yet, there is always that one - if we’re lucky, two - people who managed to dig their way in and mean something. Those are the friends we would stand up for, help in times of trouble, and if the situation called for it, give our lives. And they would do the same.

This type of friendship is addressed in, A Heart Not Easily Broken. Ebony Campbell, the heroine, shares a home with her two best friends, Yasmine Phillips, and Kaitlyn Rodgers, whom she met while in college. The three women have gone through the difficulties of maturing for the past six years. They know each other’s secrets, motivations, and fears.

When Ebony must deal with a situation that, even though it has damaged her, has the potential to devastate one of her friends, she has a decision to make. Does she tell her friend and begin healing emotionally from the damage done, yet knowingly destroy her best friend’s already damaged heart? Or, does she keep it bottled up, putting her friends feelings first, and protect the friendship that means so much to her?

Now, here’s a question: Would you be willing to keep a deep, dark secret from your best friend if you knew it could devastate them in the end, no matter what it would do to you?

M.J. Kane  


  1. Hmm, good question! I think it depends on what the secret is. My first thought would be to keep my mouth closed and learn to live with my pain vs. causing my best friend any pain. ...but again, it really depends on the situation.

    Good luck in getting your book published!

  2. It's 5:15, and I'm just getting here ...

    I agree with Sharon. Most likely I'd keep it to myself, because I hate to hurt people.

  3. Interesting. Both Sharon and Chicki had it right though I think that if my telling the secret will cause a devastating ripple effect, I'd keep it to myself. However, if someone's life is at stake, and my telling will avert such consequences, I'd tell and make sure I am available to be there for that person to help them see it through. Then again, my telling may end that friendship. It's a chance to be taken after much consideration.

    BTW, I love the look of this new blog!

    Kudos! Much success in publishing this and all your stories!

  4. That's exactly the problem Ebony faces in A Heart Not Easily Broken! The next question is this: Once you decide to keep it bottled up inside, how long can you keep it that way? Could you keep that secet forever? What ill effects will it have on you? Would dealing with those effects be worth protecting your friend?

    Things to think about....

    Thanks Sharon, Chicki, and Lahongrais for your comments! I look forward to reading more!

    Come on ladies, SHARE!

  5. What of honesty? What of respect and self-respect? Don't these dark secrets have a way of coming out in the end...and causing more harm than good? More suffering?

  6. Respect and self-respect....interesting twist, Amethyst. Would you be disrespecting yourself by keeping the secret, or your friend? In order to answer that question, you would have to judge the strength of your friendship. If you were truely friends, you should be able to go to them with anything you need to say and know that they would be open to hearing it and willing to work through whatever problem there was. In the real would that is. LOL. If you have been blessed with a friendship this sacred, cherish it!

    Dark secrets do find a way to rise to the surface, even though we try our best to keep them hidden. But, there are many types of dark secrets. There are things that we have done to others...then there are things that have been done to us that our friend my not have a clue about. What if that were the case, and bringing the problem to light resulted in harming our friendship?
    Would it be worth taking the risk if we feared the friend would not believe us?

    Sometimes you must suffer through the pain in order to find the ability to be happy again....no matter what the cost.

    Come on ladies, keep them coming!

  7. If keeping the secret will hurt my friend in the long run, make my friend look like a fool or potentially cause harm to my friend, then yes I'll tell. If you are really someone's friend, then you should be able to tell them difficult things. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but it comes with being a friend. If keeping the secret causes no one else harm, then maybe I'll keep it to myself. Maybe.